“Never Grow a Wishbone, Daughter….”
Sarah McMane, a high school English teacher in Upstate New York , accomplished poet and mom of a 2-year-old girl. She also founded an annual coffeehouse-style annual performance of original student poetry. Each year, as a model for her kids, she contributes an original poem of her own. She sent me this year’s piece, which I loved so much I thought I’d post it here. Enjoy.
Clementine Paddleford, incidentally, was an American journalist, food writer and activist.
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For My Daughter
“Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.” –Clementine Paddleford
Never play the princess when you can
be the queen:
rule the kingdom, swing a scepter,
wear a crown of gold.
Don’t dance in glass slippers,
crystal carving up your toes—
be a barefoot Amazon instead,
for those shoes will surely shatter on your feet.
Never wear only pink
when you can strut in crimson red,
sweat in heather grey, and
shimmer in sky blue,
claim the golden sun upon your hair.
Colors are for everyone,
boys and girls, men and women—
be a verdant garden, the landscape of Versailles,
not a pale primrose blindly pushed aside.
Chase green dragons and one-eyed zombies,
fierce and fiery toothy monsters,
not merely lazy butterflies,
sweet and slow on summer days.
For you can tame the most brutish beasts
with your wily wits and charm,
and lizard scales feel just as smooth
as gossamer insect wings.
Tramp muddy through the house in
a purple tutu and cowboy boots.
Have a tea party in your overalls.
Build a fort of birch branches,
a zoo of Legos, a rocketship of
Queen Anne chairs and coverlets,
first stop on the moon.
Dream of dinosaurs and baby dolls,
bold brontosaurus and bookish Belle,
not Barbie on the runway or
Disney damsels in distress—
you are much too strong to play
the simpering waif.
Don a baseball cap, dance with Daddy,
paint your toenails, climb a cottonwood.
Learn to speak with both your mind and heart.
For the ground beneath will hold you, dear—
know that you are free.
And never grow a wishbone, daughter,
where your backbone ought to be.

clementine Paddleford as a girl

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That was absolutely beautiful.
Fantastic – will be sharing this with my daughter.
Love it! It’s crying out to be illustrated. In a book. I’d buy 10 of them.
yes! yes! me, too!
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
Love this!
Strong and stunning. Now I need to learn more about Clementine Paddleford!
I’ve read this over and over until finally crying. How I wish someone had said this to me, or to my mother, in childhood. Inspiring!!!
Lovely! Could I please share it on my blog? With a link to this post and full credit to Ms. McMane? My daughter has her 11th birthday on the 18th, and this poem embodies much of that which I hope for her – put in words so beautifully.
Are you on facebook? You could message her there and ask her. If not I’ll ask and get back to you. Let me know (I don’t feel I can personally give permission–she would have to).
Thanks, Peggy. Yes, please do ask her and get back to me. Will keep checking this space.:)
Just a reminder, Peggy. It would be great if you could check with Ms.McMane about permission to use her poem. You could send her the link to my blog if she would like to check. I shall need to draft that post at the soonest. Thanks.:)
Just emailed her will let you know what she says–hopefully she’ll just contact you directly.
Thanks, Peggy. Sarah has written in and given her permission.
Here’s the blog post, Peggy. Thanks for checking with Ms McMane.
http://arightowrite.blogspot.in/2012/05/happy-birthday.html
This poem is beautifully written and contructed. I love the imagery and the very empowering, uplifting message that it conveys. I’m going to share this link with my daughter and grandaughter. It should be an anthem for all girls, everywhere. Thank you.
Reminds me of my childhood and the way my parents allowed me to be and do whatever my imagination determined. They always encouraged me no matter how off the “girl” chart I got. I am a happy well adjusted married middle aged woman. Children were not in the cards for us so we r the perennial aunt and uncle tp our friends’ children. I talk about camd to my friends with younge girls AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY. a friend notice the princesses on a lunchbox at her daughters school and was breathlessly telling me OMG IT’S TRUE!! THEY ARE ALL LOOKING IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS AS IF THEY ARE ALONE ON THE LUNCHBOX!!!! Creeeepy like you were saying Peggy!!!!
“with your wily wits and charm,” doesn’t fit the spirit of the poem. Would you consider changing this? It sounds like the traditional female formula of success through passive aggressive manipulation and sex appeal.
Otherwise, a fine effort, inspirational, and I will share your poem with our granddaughter, age 15, who’ll be spreading her wings soon.
Amazing! I will be sharing with my daughters, nieces & even my clients. A perfect poem & powerful message. Thank you!
So what will Sarah do when daughter takes her advice and starts tramping muddy through the house?
Perhaps her husband will mop it up?
This poem should be for ALL Daughters…wonderful images
Absolutely stunning … great poem
I love this. Thanks for sharing.
Beautiful, inspiring and hopeful! And please allow your girls to jump in puddles after the rainfall.
from a pre-school/day care teacher.
And allow the freedom to jump in puddles after the rainfall!
Wow – that was so great.
Love this! I want to frame it and hang it in my daughters’ room. Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem.
It is so striking and I think I’ll get back on it. So wonderful.
I want this made into a children’s book !!!
I think the response she’s gotten is encouraging her to try!