Facebook
Twitter
Email Sign-Up
RSS FeedFoot Binding 2012: Of Princess Shoes, Parents, & Outdoor Play
I can’t get this new study on preschoolers and outdoor play out of my mind. Initially brought to my attention by KJ Dell’Antonia at Motherlode, it found that roughly half of parents of preschoolers did not take their children outside to play regularly–suggesting that those children are not getting the level of physical activity they need (see KJ’s post for important caveats). But here’s the kicker: parents were 16% more likely to take preschool boys outside than preschool girls. Why? Researchers theorized it was ingrained (and probably unconscious) stereotypes about how much exercise girls need. This sets the stage for sedentariness in adolescence and beyond. Which, I’m guessing, plays into distorted body image and unhealthy dieting. Great for the 60.9 billion dollar diet industry (with its 95% failure rate); not so great for girls.
So you know I’m going to loop this back to the Princess Industrial Complex, right? Girls don’t seem to “need”–or even want– to play outside when they’re flouncing around in their princess dresses. What’s more, you can’t run, jump and get dirty when you’re wearing your miniature high heels (or even your sparkly flats) or worried about chipping your nail polish.
Think that’s a stretch? Melissa Wardy over at Pigtail Pals recently wrote about an exchange that she overheard between her daughter Amelia, and a friend:
“Your shoes are ugly,” said Amelia’s kindergarten classmate.
“No they are not,” replied the 6yo Original Pigtail Pal, Amelia.
“They are. Look how pretty mine are,” the classmate taps her toes for emphasis.
“They are the same pair of shoes. Like the exact same,” explains Amelia.
“They aren’t the same. Mine still have all of the pretty sparkles. I didn’t get them messed up,” boasted the girl.
“Listen, who cares about pretty? All I care about is playing,” retorts Amelia.
“…Amelia, you should care a little bit about being pretty or you won’t get a boyfriend,” says the classmate.
On her girls’ studies blog Rebecca Hains broadened the lens of that exchange with pictures from her local Stride Rite store. You remember Stride Rite, don’t you? They used to sell cute, sturdy footwear for little ones? Like these saddle shoes (which I had and loved ever so much) from an ad in the 1970s?
No more. Rebecca reports that girls are now instructed to “Sparkle with Every Step”….. like Cinderella, whose glass-slipper shod likeness graces the display.
As for boys? They get …Spiderman!
Rebecca went to Stride Rite’s web site and found more of the same: “Girls are meant to be looked at, so their play shoes are a route to prettiness, while boys are meant to be active, so their play shoes are made for play.” Her excerpts from Stride Rite’s gallery below:
Cinderella sneakers “transport your little princess to a world of fantasy”
Hello Kitty Keds are “the cutest sneakers on the block”
Glitzy Pets sneakers help girls “to really shine and steal the show”
Spiderman sneakers offer “light-up powers,” “no matter what kind of web he spins”
Star Wars sneakers with “lighted technology” are good for “your little adventurer’s feet”
Lightning McQueen sneakers, also with “lighted technology,” let boys “be as fast as the legendary Cars Lightning McQueen on-and-off the track”
Rebecca connects this to Colette Dowling’s Frailty Myth which holds:
Boys learn “to use their bodies in skilled ways, and this gives them a good sense of their physical capacities and limits…. Girls hold themselves back from full, complete movement, Although it’s usually something girls are unaware of, they actually learn to hamper their movements, developing a ‘body timidity that increases with age.’”
So. we may not be stunting our girls’ piggies’ by wrapping them in cloth bandages, but we seem to be binding their feet–or binding them through their feet–all the same.
My personal blow against the Princess footwear industry (which, mark my words is priming girls for a lifetime of painful, sky-high—in both price and scale– heels that will leave them be-bunioned and miserable) was to allow Daisy to pick out a pair of classic Van’s slip-ons. Her choice of flame skater shoes became her “trademark” from preschool through first grade, one that her classmates, male and female, admired and even copied. Remember my fight-fun-with-fun philosophy? There it is in practice. D got to wear fabulous shoes that were comfortable, cool, and broadened her notion of femininity. She also got a tacit lesson in the benefits of individuality over following the crowd. Beat that Cinderella.
As a culture (based on box office receipts) we are currently obsessed with one of the most radical and self-determining female characters ever to appear on screen: The Hunger Games‘ Katinss Everdeen. Check out her shoes.
“Exceptional” girls and women like Katniss crop up periodically in the culture, female warriors who transcend stereotypes and gender norms. Ripley of the Alien franchise is one. The girls in Mirror, Mirror, as well as the upcoming Snow White and the Huntsman and Pixar’s Brave appear to be as well. And, of course, there was Buffy, who took a glorious stand against the “chosen” girl in the series’ last episode with this speech:
From now on, every girl in the world who might be a Slayer, will be a Slayer. Every girl who could have the power, will have the power. Can stand up, will stand up. Slayers, every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?
I recalled those lines as I read the end of Pigtail Pal’s sparkle-shoes post:
Amelia tells her friend: “You should care less about being pretty and more about playing with us. My mom says there’s lots of different ways to be a girl,”
“I don’t want to mess up my shoes,” says the classmate, which is met by an audible sigh from Amelia, who sprints off to play in her busted up not-so-sparkly-anymore shoes.
As a 23-year-old woman who recently shmucked a pair of pastel pink flats going on an impromptu hike through a bog, I salute you.
This is why I sleep with my little Peggy Orenstein doll at night. Because you are full of the awesome.
Love it!
Hmm. Am I flattered or creeped out???? Ha!
And as a 29-year-old woman who keeps getting told that if she doesn’t start dressing more feminine, no man will ever want her, I salute you as well. I am so sick of it. I wear the exact same clothes any man my age wears, because I need to be comfortable.
I don’t know what’s more frustrating, the suggestion that I am dressing incorrectly (as if there were such a thing) , or that getting a man is such an important achievement? Perhaps, actually, the suggestion that there is no other way to attract a decent mate than by conforming to an uncomfortable standard.
Madzia, you sound like me… I am a theatre electrician and teacher, and I dress like someone who might have to perform physical work and climb ladders at any moment.
I am now 52 years old, still dressing for comfort and efficiency, and I am married – although that was never a Goal – to a wonderful, intelligent man who never cared what I wore once he learned who I was, and we have two daughters who also shrug at gender stereotype.
Be who you are, and you will attract the ones worth being with!
Finding toddler shoes that do not sparkle was the bane of my existence. Thanks to Keen, I can now let my girl PLAY, and not worry about messing up her pretty shoes. In fact, just the other day I marveled at how dirty and worn her sneaks have become in just two short months.
OH I LOVE Keen and even better pedipeds. They have what my daughter has entitled ‘adventure shoes’ because like keens they go in the wash and are made for dirt.
THANK YOU for continuing to bring this to people’s attention. Until I heard you on NPR the other day, I was beginning to think I was the only “crazy” mother who felt so strongly about this. I commonly get the “What’s the big deal?” retort. You give me renewed passion to stick up for the full potential of my little girl. You even inspired me to write this: http://mycastleheart.wordpress.com/2012/03/26/girls-toys-oh-the-horror/ Thanks, again, Peggy. Keep it up!
Angela, so glad I could offer support–you keep fighting that good fight for your girl! You are not at ALL alone and the online community is a great resource!
Did you see the sketchers Twinle Toes line of shoes. They are just a new level of ridiculous! The sales lady told me she threw out her daughters pair after two weeks because her poor daughter kept falling over.
Sorry not Twinle toes, their ballerina shoes that are designed to help girls twirl.
While I completely agree with the twisted advertising telling girls to be pretty and boys to be strong, when it comes to the 16% of boys going out more than their girl counterparts, something to consider is that little boys are more “rough and tumble” than girls are. I remember Zoe’s preschool orientation. It was the first time she had really seen boys playing together, and they were running at each other, slamming their bellies together, and then falling down, laughing hysterically. Zoe likes to go outside and play in the dirt and collect all sorts of “nature” things, as she puts it, but she couldn’t understand how kids thought that slamming into each other was fun (she still doesn’t, and she’s nearly 6). So maybe the boys are going out more because their rough and tumble behavior is more dangerous inside the house and they’re essentially being put into a safer environment for their behavior. And yes, while I realize that that behavior might be learned, it at least may explain why there are 16% more of the boys going outside.
Yikes! I meant to say that while I believe that that advertising is twisted. I don’t agree with them doing it. I agree that it’s wrong! Whoops!
Your belief you’ve stated is not necessarily true. I have 2 girls and they rough house constantly and spend 90% of their days outdoors. Your girl might not like it but that doesn’t mean that ALL girls don’t. I have not hindered their interests with my
own ideas of what is and is not ok. Perhaps you have said or indicated with body language a lack of acceptance towards this behavior you consider to be something boys do vs girls? Your daughter also might be influenced by the shows she watches. That is the nature of humans, to be influenced by society in what their position is within that society. I have made a point to balance out their consumption of tv, movies, and books, making certain that their are strong female characters and also being an example that females do not have to always be so delicate and clean. Boys are encouraged to be rough in society from all angles. It takes a lot of effort to enable a girl to not be influenced by the boy vs girl culture.
What a sad exchange! If I were the parent I’d consider switching preschools if that girl is the norm — because while those sparkly shoes were usual at my daughter’s preschool I can’t remember any girl worrying a bit about messing up her shoes, and princess costume dresses splattered with mud were de rigeur. They all ran and played outside, dripped paint on themselves playing inside, etc. They had plenty of experience in active play because the school and parent community promoted it for all the kids. I’m with everyone else here in wishing corporations would lay off the pink and sparkly, but there is so much parents can do to avoid instilling the attitude of Amelia’s classmate. Most girls do seem to be reasonably content with quiet play — my guess is that boys are taken outside more because their active play style seems to demand it (i.e. they are driving the parents crazy indoors). Parents and other care providers just need to realize that even the quietest kids content to draw or play house can do those same activities outside and gain a whole new dimension to their play. Outside play is so much more than just an energy release for the most active kids.
I think you may have referenced this in another blogpost, or it may have been on pigtail pals but Lisa Bloom wrote a great post on Huffington about how to talk to little girls- besides complimenting them on their shoes. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html
My daughter is in a half-day preK program through our local public school. The kids go outside everyday (with very few exceptions, pouring rain or sub-zero!)and parents were all given guidelines about appropriate playground wear. I know “closed toe and heel shoes” was specifically on the list. More times than I can count, she’s come home and talked about how so-and-so had to sit out for not having safe shoes on, or even in winter, so-and-so can’t run around in her wedge-heeled snowboots. Never an issue for a boy, of course . . .
This is so true but it doesn’t just extend to shoes – try to buy a winter coat/ anorak. The girls get pastel pink puffiness. The boys get weather skirts, goretex and functional hoods….
No wonder small girls don’t want to play out the clothes that are readily available on the high street (in the UK at least) render them effing freezing.
My daughter is 3 months old so too young for shoes but there is a special place in hell for Lelli Kelly shoes. Not only are they hideously ugly and overpriced,
they have compartments for makeup inthe shoes. Little girls are naturally beautiful anyway.
My little girl has two older brothers so she’ll have no choice but to play rough. When I was a little girl, if I didn’t come home with a bruise, scrape or scratch after playing out in the summer then I must have been ill that day. I had Barbies up the wazoo, but I still loved racing my male cousins and neighborhood boys on bikes.
I wear pratical clothes and shoes because that’s what you do when you have a toddler, a baby and a 9 year old to look after! I have no problem with pretty things and I have some lovely clothes and shoes. I just don’t think that should be the be all-end-all for girls.
I have been complaining about Stride Rite for years! I literally cannot find a pair of athletic sneakers for my daughter that AREN’T PINK. Finally resorted to at least buying a second pair of shoes, red Keds, but had to buy them in the boys’ section because apparently only boys can wear red. To paraphrase Joss Whedon’s ending credits on Buffy, “Grrrr, Argh!”
I teach English as a second language in a Spanish school to children of ages 4 to 7, and thanks to your blog and a few others I pay attention to details like the shoes they wear, etc. When the warm weather arrives, it is scary to see the shoes children wear: all the girls, absolutely ALL of them (and I have 200 students), wear open-toe sandals that won’t allow them to play soccer or run as comfortable as they should, whereas every boy wears shoes that are comfortable and cover the whole foot for protection. That says enough. But even scarier is the look I get from people when I mention this, and the “oh, here she goes again” comments I hear from them… Change will come slowly, if it comes at all!
I cannot tell you the amount of times during the 1980s that Mum would dress me in some special outfit for visiting relatives, the family get together every summer ws usually at Belton House, where we would invariably take a picnic, the boys would play cricket, the girls wouldn’t… until we got to the adventure playground in the woods, and then we would all go and have hours of fun and mud, girls and boys together. How on earth are girls supposed to interact with boys if they can’t play games together?? With their own brothers and cousins?? I recommend showing girls the film Spirited Away. The hero is a girl. She wears trainers. There’s a scene when she takes her trainers off and carefully leaves them with the soot creatures. The level of animation used to show the small movements of a girl taking her shoes off is very existential. The film also teaches girls not to lose their name. Which hints at how girls have to give up their surname upon marriage. To give up your name means to forget who you are, and in the spirit world that means you can never go back.
Wow. In the 1980s. When everyone else’s mums were dressing girls in overalls????
Yes, I am a HUGE Miyazaki fan and his films are high on my fight fun with fun page.
As a 32 year old mom of 3 girls…Thank you for this blog.
I am fortunate to have had parents that let me get dirty! While we of course had that special trip to Disney to see those “beautiful princesses”….our vacations usually consisted of backpacking and other outdoor adventures, we almost always camped….even in the rain. My sister and I learned how to fish, canoe, repel… We loved getting books on birds and animal tracks so we could try to find as many as we could on our hiking adventures. I look forward to sharing similar adventures with my girls.
It is true….”You can go anywhere with the right pair of shoes”, but those shoes don’t have to be glass slippers. My gym shoes and hiking boots have done well for me
Ha! Thank you!
Wow! This 78 year old grandmother has just had her eyes opened…and I thank you all for your comments. Thanks also for bringing, again, to my attention the pressure on little girls to grow up way to fast. We, my 92 year old husband and I are fortunate to live next to a wonderful young family who share their 19 month old girl with us. I vow, here and now, to join the army of strong women who will support the idea of allowing children to be children, especially girls. Our neighbors are trying very hard, and doing well encouraging their daughter to garden ‘play in the dirt’ with me. Her books are beautiful and filled with nature, science and awareness of that big world out there. I promise to never again give her a tutu for play; instead I will take her on trips with me when I go to the pet store, the library and every cultural event I can think of.(If the parents are willing, which they always are.)
Again, thanks and lets open the entire world to girls and boys; equally.
My first-grade daughter’s teacher reported that she asked the kids who got an Easter dress and Ella, arms raised in the air exclaimed, “I didn’t, thank God!” Her ‘Easter shoes’ were a new pair of Tretorns, which she promptly muddied up climbing trees and trampling through the woods on her egg hunt.
LOVE!
[...] Orenstein and Margot Magowan blogged about my post about Stride Rite’s toddler play [...]
[...] Per fortuna ha smesso. Così posso smettere di pensare agli ombrelli ed andare a comperare un paio di scarpe per la Minica. [...]
Recently, my oldest daughter (4) needed new shoes. And she really needs the “girl” shoes because even at her size, the boy shoes are much broader and her feet are tiny.
I asked for something with a sturdy cap that would withstand some rough play and the all-times favourite bobby car.
Well, the boys’ shoes do have such a leather cap. The girl ones don’t. They’re pretty.
Now I can chose between slowing her down (no, honey, not with your new shoes!) or risking a 60 bucks pair of good shoes (we take great care that they get good footwear) within a few weeks.
I’m biting my tongue but I’m soooooo frustrated.
What about Converse all-stars with either no laces (slips) or velcro? Otherwise Van’s skater shoes come in all kinds of patterns that are fun….They can be worn with anything (jeans, shorts, dresses….) funky and cool. About $30-$40?
Thanks, as always, for your insightful words! I personally love seeing my almost two year old daughter run through the playground (all the while chanting running-running-running-running…) in her classic Converse sneakers. I hadn’t fallen for the absurd shoe trend- though I did buy her a pair of cute espadrilles before she was born, not noticing how absurd the wedge on the heel was. She tripped over them for precisely two minutes before I put them in the Goodwill pile. What I had noticed was that all the “pretty” outfits I got her never get worn because I know they will inhibit her if we end up going anywhere to play, and I try to take her outside as often as I can since we live in a tiny apartment, and I had read about the link between the obesity epidemic in children and the reduced living spaces they are confined to nowadays. I’ve pretty much given up on skirts and dresses and prefer to invest in comfy jeans and cargo pants- even shorts are a stretch because they don’t protect her knees when she’s climbing, crawling, and falling- all fun things for a two year old to do. It seems that the “binding” stretches far beyond our daughters’ feet- I know I would be a lot less likely to take a detour to the playground on the way home from the store if my girl happens to be wearing a pretty dress and sandals.
[...] that girls were even less likely than boys to have the opportunity to play outside. Princess expert Peggy Orenstein weighed in on that finding, wondering if the gender play gap had anything to do with the shoes marketed to our [...]
[...] o princezničkovských topánkach a o tom, ako sa dievčatá hrajú vonku – alebo zväzovanie chodidiel 2012 Boys learn “to use their bodies in skilled ways, and this gives them a good sense of their physical capacities and limits…. Girls hold themselves back from full, complete movement, Although it’s usually something girls are unaware of, they actually learn to hamper their movements, developing a ‘body timidity that increases with age.’ [...]
I recently saw Snow White and the Huntsman and found that, despite what the preview implied, it was not an empowering movie for women. It was so disappointing.
Agree. Especially because THEY ARE DROPPING SNOW WHITE in the sequel. It’s just going to be about the huntsman.
But check out Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. It is pretty fabulous.