Botox is Not the Problem
Yes, I know everyone’s talking about that San Francisco mom pumping Botox into her 8-year-old.
That is so obviously sick. But it’s so over-the-top, like the toddler beauty pageants, that I think, in some ways, it distracts us from the real issue.
The item I found more compelling this week was a study that found a third of clothing sold to girls ages 6-12 is sexualizing. Researchers looked at 5,666 clothing items (why not 5,6667? I don’t know) on the web sites of 15 popular stores and coded them for sexualized characteristics: those that emphasized or revealed a sexualized body part, had sexy qualities and/or had suggestive writing. They also coded for childlike characteristics, such as fabric pattern (think polka dots) or a modest, non-revealing cut.
The good news: 69% of the clothing items had ONLY childlike characteristics. A mere 4% had ONLY sexualizing characteristics.
But here’s the tricky part and what we often miss in hand-wringing over the extremes: 25.4% of the clothing had BOTH childlike and sexualizing characteristics. That’s what I believe is confusing and controversial among parents. That’s what’s hard to navigate. I mean, whoever is buying that 4% overtly sexualized stuff, I don’t know what to say. But when over 1 in 4 items in any store–and apparently more in “tween” stores like Abercrombie Kids–is both childlike and sexualizing, the message is far more pernicious. Because a parent can convince herself that maybe it’s not so bad then. Instead of thinking that the mash-up is the problem. That dual message of childlike and sexual teaches girls that it is normal and correct, even as children, to view their bodies as objects to be judged by ridiculously narrow (and often sexualized) standards of attractiveness. And then to hang their self-worth on that.
Obviously, this is not only a problem with clothing–you see it everywhere. Look at the debate that is STILL going on on this very blog regarding the Monster High toy line. If there weren’t something redeeming, fun, and positive about Monster High no one would buy it. But it doesn’t change the part that is not just inappropriate, but given the larger cultural context, potentially damaging to little girls’ ideas about their own bodies, beauty, sexuality and self-worth. And when the two are mixed–healthy and unhealthy values and images combined–how are girls to understand it?
So, yeah, I get that people get upset about the Abercrombie push-up bikini for 7-year-olds (which, incidentally, they didn’t pull off the shelves–they just changed the name!) or the Botox for 8-year-olds. All of it. But this mushy middle, this innocent-sexy axis is where the real conversation has to happen.
And just to bring it back to my favorite topic, princesses, Carolyn Castiglia wrote a great post on Stroller Derby yesterday noting that the Disney Princesses are getting slowly more sexualized themselves in the most stereotypical of ways. Check out these two images, and the rest that she’s posted on that blog.
Sleeping Beauty (Aurora) then and now
Belle in 1991 and 2011: bigger eyes, slimmer face, coy expression….

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Thanks for this Peggy. I am the mom of an 11 year old and I can say for sure that it’s hard to find clothes that are appropriate. She goes to a Catholic school and I’m thrilled with their modest uniform, but she certainly can’t wear it to the swimming pool. Bikinis make me cringe. I just don’t want anyone looking at her that way!
Katie
I know that all makes me sound like a prude, by the way, which I am not, but she’s ELEVEN!
Katie, see the previous blog post re: anti-sexualization is PRO-SEX.
Hi Peggy,
Just wanted to check with you about the Abercrombie bikini. I’d read that they’ve removed it from their website, and I assumed that meant it was pulled off the shelves(http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/controversial-kid-push-up-bikini-gone-from-abercrombie-site-2469216) If it’s still being stocked (what a shame!), I’ll make the change on my rabble review. Thanks!
Oh, my understanding was that they just renamed it the striped triangle top. Here’s an ABC news link:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/abercrombie-fitch-padded-bikini-top-year-olds-parents/story?id=13236904
Another great post Peggy. I was just going through my (3 year old) daughter’s summer wardrobe today and made the decision to stick with bermudas/longer inseem shorts vs. the shorty “cheerleader” looking one for the exact reasons you mention in this article. That middle-ground is a slippery slope indeed.
The middle ground is what was so easy to slip unnoticed into American culture and make it a mainstay in all things girlhood, to the point that parents will actually defend it because their daughter is a “girly girl”, or “just loves Tinker Bell/Princesses like I did” etc….
We’ve stopped questioning what is being sold to our kids at the very moment when we should be questioning all of it and demanding products that honor their childhood and don’t use sexualization to meet the corporate bottom line.
I am very proud to say that Pigtail Pals will never fall into the 1/3 of clothing that is sexualized, and will readily welcome the day the media starts to focus on the companies that are getting it right.
Melissa, precisely spot on, as always (when are YOU writing a book). I am so grateful Pigtailpals is out there….
Peggy,
I just finished reading your book Cinderella Ate my Daughter (kudos, by the way!) and can totally relate to pretty much everything you said. My 5-year-old is a total girly girl. She loves all things pink and princess, and when she overheard me telling my own mother that I would no longer be buying princess related things, she started bawling.
Your book, blog, and others like it have made me so much more conscientious about the images, ideologies and innuendo my daughter is exposed to. It’s made me question every toy, television show, movie, and item of clothing I buy for her. I refuse to just look the other way anymore — to justify that it’s harmless and okay because it’s the norm.
Yay, Katie! No one says it’s easy to fight the culture, but I hope you’ve had a chance to look at my resources page on this site for some ideas…..FIGHT FUN WITH FUN!!!