Facebook
Twitter
Email Sign-Up
RSS FeedAnd So it Begins….
Here are some of the questions a 9 1/2-year-old asks:
“Mom, when did you go through puberty?”
“Mom, when did you get your period?”
“You mean you can get PREGNANT when you go through puberty????”
“Mom, what’s a tampon?”
“Mom, what’s anna…anna…anna…Anorexia?”
Here we go.
As a journalist, I have had mixed feelings about the American Girl line, mixed feelings I never had to confront as a mother because Daisy thought the dolls were creepy. However, they publish some fabulous books and one that is absolutely worth getting for your pre-pubescent daughter is The Care and Keeping of You. It covers all the above questions, plus basics like why you really, really do need to wash your face every morning.
I do wish they hadn’t made the Asian girl on the cover quite so bowl-haired and slanty-eyed, though.
For those other birds and bees-type questions I’ve found the best books are It’s Not the Stork (for boys and girls age 4+)
and It’s So Amazing for children 7+
The Asians are better in these books, too.
I suggest having all of these on hand. You’ll need them before you realize….
These are great books.
Another idea, esp. if your child gives you the “why are we talking about this now” response, or if you’re looking for back-door type ways to introduce the topic, is to find fiction books that introduce the subject. I was reading “The Long Secret” with my daughter just the other day–it’s a sequel to Harriet the Spy, and there’s a great section in there where one of the characters, Beth Ellen, gets her first period, and it turns out her grandmother had told her some crazy stuff (including that you bleed b/c rocks are coming out), and one of the other girls sits Harriet and Beth Ellen down and explains it all to them. It’s absolutely great–totally believable, not preachy, not scary, and opened things up for more discussion and questions, so we didn’t have the whole “we’re having a BIG TALK now” dynamic.
I highly recommend it. You can read the whole section here: http://www.sheilaomalley.com/?p=4901
Thanks! I never read that book, but just ordered it (ah, the instant gratification of the internet–like a drug….)
Though I have never been the instigator of one of these talks. I got the first book when Daisy was four, really really grateful to have it on hand.
This book has saved my life, again and again. We borrowed it from the library so much I finally bought a copy for my daughter, now 11. Just in time. How might my own experience have been different had such a book existed in the late 70s? My mom sure wasn’t up for talking…..
My mom was actually WONDERFUl about all puberty and sex. I should tell her so. I think of her as a model of how to do it. I felt totally comfortable (all things considered) asking her questions. She was also great about meanness between girls.
I remember that booklet all the girls got at school that was from Modess or Kotex or something. And I remember seeing a film of a baby actually being born in 9th grade health and being TOTALLY TRAUMATIZED.
Anyway, these questions do not tend to come up at a convenient time. They tend to come up in the middle of a parking lot or during dinner or sometime when you least expect it. So it is REALLY useful to be able to say, “You know what? That’s a great question, and when we get home/after dinner/when I’m done juggling fire let’s look in our book about that….”
Anyone know of a good book for a young teen? My daughter is 14 and a HS freshman, just a late bloomer. (She’s physically active, eats little meat, and is naturally slim, all things that can cause late menarche.)
Reviews of “The Care and Keeping of You” make it sound like it’s aimed for younger girls. I am still considering it though, since some reviewers received a copy around age 11 and referred to it all through their teen years. Since my daughter is, unfortunately, not much of a reader, it may not seem so young to her. Thanks for any advice.
Thanks for the recommendation.
My daughter is 5 and loves “It’s Not The Stork.” It’s a wonderful book.
I recently had the sex talk with my 8 yr old daughter (turned 8 in November). It was completely natural because I’ve always had books about the human body around. We were talking about feelings which led to hormones which led to puberty and so forth. When I asked her if she wanted to cont talking about this, she replied “mom, I already know all about sex.” I asked her what she knew and she said, “it’s in all the books we have.” I was definitely relieved to know she didn’t think sex was “peeing on someone” as I’ve heard her 2nd grade friend tell her. I am so grateful that I have stressed talking about our bodies in real terms with real vocabulary. There’s a book called, The Very Touching Book, and its about the various kinds of touch and what kinds are not ok. My favorite part of the book is when it tells the kids to have the adults say “vagina” and “penis” over and over again so you can watch their faces turn red. She looks at me and says “why would it make their faces turn red?”
Could you please make a post about Make Me A Sandwich jokes? I find these jokes horrible and degrading. I know lots of women agree with me.